Good day all. I just wanted to share my opinions... (Don't I always?)
The other day I was at work and I was minding my business; WORKING, and I see a Black woman rushing by, coffee cup in hand. She was dressed in what I think SHE considered business casual, but I thought was desperate fashionable. She wore a long denim jean skirt (eeelk) with these high; sky high, black, Herman Munster heel boots. Her jacket and shirt were both boxy and ill fitting. While I am NOT a weave expert, I can say as a person with hair, that her weave was NOT the kind that lasts past 30 days and ummm, let's just say she was on day 45, easy...
Now this description may seem harsh, but THAT'S what the sister had on, period. Sorry if I call it like I see it. It may also seem after my story, that maybe I was bitter and more prone to be discriminative. Not at all. Has she been the nicest, sweetest lady on earth, the fact would have remained that she was what we in the modern era call, a HATER. Haters usually have no basis for their hate and in some cases they do have a daily target for their hate, but being haters, they follow their nature and just hate on whatever feeds their inner insecurities; in this case, it happened to be little ole me. Minding my business, doing my work...
This woman was from the corporate office. She visits stores and ensures that the displays and items are in what corporate considers an array that is customer friendly and sales gratifying. There is no set protocol for how things should be set up, but there are some policies and company 'suggestions' in which sales items and displays should be set up. The woman NEVER spoke to me or anyone that I saw; indeed she was several feet away from me and never looked up in my direction while , as you can see from MY description, I saw her and observed her well. Later, my manger comes to me and says, 'Hey Stacey, that woman there (she points) is from corporate and she comes down to do visits like we explained at orientation. (I laughed inside because WHAT orientation??!!) Anyway, she said she said hello and good morning to you and you never answered her or acknowledged her." I assured my manager, Vivian, that the woman was lying, and she never spoke or addressed me in anyway. She did not know my name (I wear a name tag) which was further proof that she never came close enough to me to even know my name displayed on a large red and white square on my breast. My manager states that she didn't believe that since I have a sterling reputation as customer friendly and going out if my way to greet and assist customers even when it is not my area of expertise, on break, or near any circumstance.
Now, I was so angry for the rest of the day. What is it about Black women that we have the need, the desire to be so hateful to one another? To go so far as to LIE and invent a situation that never happened to try to undermine another sister? I mean obviously, I am in a position that she doesn't envy, obviously she cannot compare my fashion to her lack of fashion (even though I DO make my khakis and black shirt look good, if I may say so myself :) It sickens me that this woman could not look at me, entry level and say to herself, 'look at that sister working HARD, and doing that menial job with pride. Maybe I should go over and say hi, introduce myself. Let her see from my presence that there is room for growth in this company. Tell her my story and motivate and encourage her to get where I am." UHUH. Sister girl couldn't do THAT because she was so filled with hate and jealousy. I cannot say what she was jealous of. I am not conceited enough to say I am beautiful and elicit envy in every woman that sees me, but I AM confident enough to understand that something; whether it was my looks, my air of confidence and serenity, or simply something SHE lacked and perceived me to have, made her go out of her way to attempt to slur me, mar me, undermine me and my worth to my employer, with no provocation at all.
I hope that reading this, someone, acknowledges to themselves that they have been this woman; I know I have once or twice, and that they defy it in themselves. The next time you are at work and you see a new face, a new woman that cause you to be unsteady in your confidence, loose in your otherwise secure moorings, don't blame HER, blame YOU, and go over and say hello. Give her a chance to show you that maybe YOU have to check you. Your perceived instant defense of this woman is not her fault, it's in you and you can counteract that natural instinct to be a hater by being an example, being kind, and being bigger than that little girl that lives in all of us that just wants to push that cute ponytail bobbing bitch in the dirt on the playground. Rise above that little girl and show YOURSELF that you are a strong, accomplished woman...
And if the woman you are attempting to help rise up doesn't receive your praise and gesture appropriately? Well then, show the ungrateful B who's boss~Just don't lie!!
~Stacey Thompson
The other day I was at work and I was minding my business; WORKING, and I see a Black woman rushing by, coffee cup in hand. She was dressed in what I think SHE considered business casual, but I thought was desperate fashionable. She wore a long denim jean skirt (eeelk) with these high; sky high, black, Herman Munster heel boots. Her jacket and shirt were both boxy and ill fitting. While I am NOT a weave expert, I can say as a person with hair, that her weave was NOT the kind that lasts past 30 days and ummm, let's just say she was on day 45, easy...
Now this description may seem harsh, but THAT'S what the sister had on, period. Sorry if I call it like I see it. It may also seem after my story, that maybe I was bitter and more prone to be discriminative. Not at all. Has she been the nicest, sweetest lady on earth, the fact would have remained that she was what we in the modern era call, a HATER. Haters usually have no basis for their hate and in some cases they do have a daily target for their hate, but being haters, they follow their nature and just hate on whatever feeds their inner insecurities; in this case, it happened to be little ole me. Minding my business, doing my work...
This woman was from the corporate office. She visits stores and ensures that the displays and items are in what corporate considers an array that is customer friendly and sales gratifying. There is no set protocol for how things should be set up, but there are some policies and company 'suggestions' in which sales items and displays should be set up. The woman NEVER spoke to me or anyone that I saw; indeed she was several feet away from me and never looked up in my direction while , as you can see from MY description, I saw her and observed her well. Later, my manger comes to me and says, 'Hey Stacey, that woman there (she points) is from corporate and she comes down to do visits like we explained at orientation. (I laughed inside because WHAT orientation??!!) Anyway, she said she said hello and good morning to you and you never answered her or acknowledged her." I assured my manager, Vivian, that the woman was lying, and she never spoke or addressed me in anyway. She did not know my name (I wear a name tag) which was further proof that she never came close enough to me to even know my name displayed on a large red and white square on my breast. My manager states that she didn't believe that since I have a sterling reputation as customer friendly and going out if my way to greet and assist customers even when it is not my area of expertise, on break, or near any circumstance.
Now, I was so angry for the rest of the day. What is it about Black women that we have the need, the desire to be so hateful to one another? To go so far as to LIE and invent a situation that never happened to try to undermine another sister? I mean obviously, I am in a position that she doesn't envy, obviously she cannot compare my fashion to her lack of fashion (even though I DO make my khakis and black shirt look good, if I may say so myself :) It sickens me that this woman could not look at me, entry level and say to herself, 'look at that sister working HARD, and doing that menial job with pride. Maybe I should go over and say hi, introduce myself. Let her see from my presence that there is room for growth in this company. Tell her my story and motivate and encourage her to get where I am." UHUH. Sister girl couldn't do THAT because she was so filled with hate and jealousy. I cannot say what she was jealous of. I am not conceited enough to say I am beautiful and elicit envy in every woman that sees me, but I AM confident enough to understand that something; whether it was my looks, my air of confidence and serenity, or simply something SHE lacked and perceived me to have, made her go out of her way to attempt to slur me, mar me, undermine me and my worth to my employer, with no provocation at all.
I hope that reading this, someone, acknowledges to themselves that they have been this woman; I know I have once or twice, and that they defy it in themselves. The next time you are at work and you see a new face, a new woman that cause you to be unsteady in your confidence, loose in your otherwise secure moorings, don't blame HER, blame YOU, and go over and say hello. Give her a chance to show you that maybe YOU have to check you. Your perceived instant defense of this woman is not her fault, it's in you and you can counteract that natural instinct to be a hater by being an example, being kind, and being bigger than that little girl that lives in all of us that just wants to push that cute ponytail bobbing bitch in the dirt on the playground. Rise above that little girl and show YOURSELF that you are a strong, accomplished woman...
And if the woman you are attempting to help rise up doesn't receive your praise and gesture appropriately? Well then, show the ungrateful B who's boss~Just don't lie!!
~Stacey Thompson
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