Hello World!
Welcome visitors and me (since I am the only one who lives here full time and all) I start off with that distinction because if it was not before, it must now be understood that there is a reason why I believe that I live in my own world; well it is actually several reason, but the core is one general thing; MY BRAIN. The sh&t is crazy yall! (picture Kevin Hart saying that)
The way I feel about penises; well, certain kinds of penises, is a great example of what I have to live with in my own damn head; and the situations it causes to come about. I know that some of you share and empathize with my opinion, but yet you still allow the problem penis to infiltrate your life. (Seriously ladies. Speak up) I Must. I just cannot be manipulated, sweet talked, cajoled, charmed; into engaging with this FIRST penis peeve. The second one is a little more complicated, but it is a possibility of being tolerable maybe, perhaps, as I get older, it gets worse, but anyway...
This first one is so bad that once I know it is THAT kind of penis, I just can't. Put it like this: Any interaction between us CANNOT happen because your penis will be there. I fear it, I am afraid of it, I am sick from the thought of it. This is a very harsh reaction, but it's not my fault. Some people gag and throw up at the sight of blood. Well. That's how I feel about this kind of penis. I know many people think I am going on about size.
Nope.
I am going to break girl code right now and tell these poor men the truth ladies. Sorry fellas, but ladies have had you on this penis esteem tip for so long, I know you probably won't believe me (you are so brainwashed and penis insecure!) but umm, TOO big is NOT good. Think about it. Be hooonessssttt!! c'mon. The cavity, canal, vaginal tunnel; whatever; is a certain amount of yardage. I don't care if you had a 14 pound baby, your vagina is not supposed to take, want, crave, like, or enjoy something equivalent in a penis. No. Your cavity is but so big, so, once it hits the wall, where does it go? AGAINST the wall. Stop playing with that 'we LIKE big penis' bull; It just SOUNDS like it would hurt. This is not a pet peeve or a penis peeve. I simply will not have any interaction with a penis that I am uncomfortable with due to being intimidated by its' size. I'm not afraid, I'm just good on THAT. No thank you. No ma'am. Not to mention, even after a woman has a little FIVE pound baby, she and her vagina are out of commission for at least 4 weeks!
No ladies. I am talking about that one (or two in my case) types of penis you just cannot have any contact with. It's weird or creepy or just not quite right-TO YOU. Others may be ok with it, but you are just good on that type of penis. Mine are, I guess, sort of weird, but hear my arguments and I guarantee, even if you still accept these types of penises, you will understand MY aversion to them And do not get all riled up dudes, please. Your penis won't meet MY vagina, but he will meet others!
The first is the uncircumcised penis ladies. It's the worst that's why it is my biggest peeve. Number One.
Like eeelk
Yuck!
Take your hat off in the house!
It just looks so weird and scary. "Regular' Penises look sculpted and the head is proud and exposed, almost regal. BUT those 'OTHER' ones are all contracted and look all huddled. Even excited, they look all timid and flax; like a dead slab of eel on a beach. Perhaps because of some innocent accidental discovery of porn and other penal visuals, I came to this conclusion, but really, I am totally going with my reaction to my first experience with one. I had come across one or two before but it was not until I saw one that was meant for me to do it with. My reaction to that told me all I needed to know. Uh uh. This is just not going to work. It's not...
I was shocked by its appearance! And my imagination started picturing all the unpleasant stuff I would rather see right now than this strange thing he said is a penis but it don't even really look like a penis! Like a dead eel, or a mini elephant trunk. Whether the skin is tight or loose, both are just so unsightly! (For real, I legit just shuddered thinking about it.) Prior to this incident, I noted that they looked different but I guess because these 'other' penises weren't coming AT ME, I did not really pay attention to how I FELT about the difference. I just don't know exactly WHY they scheeve me out; but they just are so alien, so WRONG, so SAD~so sorry...
Now, I am not gonna say the brother's name because I am pretty sure I scarred this dude. For life. Like he probably went and got circumcised. (By the way, if that is the case, Still NO!!! we can't do it. I too, am scarred.) I never thought about or wondered what I would do if I saw a different type of penis-like who expects THAT? Who is prepped for THAT though? I had begun to develop an issue with the second penis peeve I have and it was a learned aversion, while this uncircumcised penis fear was instant and assaulting on my senses. I was traumatized. My first and only experience with an uncut penis (why not cut it?!) was with this dude I was dating. It was for real dating too, like we'd go out, and kissed on the fifth date and held hands in the rain. (YES, I am romantic and mushy. Once in a while. When I'm slipping...) It was very grown up. He was handsome and tall and brown skinned. His body felt and looked good in his clothes. He was very charismatic like you were smelling this man, you know? Whew. S e x y.com But annnywayyy, we held off on the penile penetration. He was a gentleman. He said he wanted us to happen naturally. (Had I known he was THAT natural...) One Sunday after we both worked a morning shift, I'm at his house just spending time. We were in the Sunday Funday stage. We would go eat, or I would visit his house for football and dinner. This was a little ritual we had; Sunday Funday. So we talked and since my daughter was out of town on a sleepover, (I could not spend the night out if she was home!; what if she KNEW lol) we agreed that I should just stay over. Oh, I am sorry you hoes and vixens! You didn't know it is possible to sleep with a dude and NOT have sex? Well, it is. (That's the game we played. You know~HIM: 'Why not just stay over? I'll behave.' YOUR HOT ASS: 'OK! But no touching. giggle, giggle.. It IS possible, but it was NOT likely this time....
I believe in being honest)
We drove to my house so I could get some clothes and some pjs, and stopped for some takeout. We get back to his place eat, shower, and cuddle up. It was sooo nice. His body smelled good, felt great, and looked amazing. Sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell; all 5 senses were applauding. OK?! I won't be all graphic because it is going to get UN sexy right immediately so I won't even do you like that...
I I have been accused of being sexy a time or two so I'm helping the man out of his boxers all slow and seductive and...
Ohmysh^twhatisthatWaIIIT!! I said all of that as I slithered, ran, scrammed, FELL across the floor away from his uncircumcised alien skinned Italian sausage; like it was SOOOO nasty looking to me and I promise, I got so scared! I quickly realized what it was but that made it worse, like why wouldn't you take care of THAT? Haven't you seen other penises? 'Normal' penises, and NOT wanted to be so different!!!??? For real, I was so turned off, but afraid of it, too. He was all like what’s wrong? Insert deadpan expression RIGHT HERE
C'mon my man, you know what happened and you know your penis looks crazy! But I also was kind of like maybe it really wasn't that bad. Maybe the sight of it looking all smooth yet wrinkled, mushroomish, but without a top sort of, shapeless but misshapen into a weird shape just surprised me and my imagination just took me there. I do that. I can imagine my entire murder just from hearing a car backfire. I'm all into it. Morbid, and now add weird too, thoughts just emerge in my brain and I SEE the situation far worse than it is- BUT that was not happening here people. No! Just as I calmed down, he advanced toward me- still a lil unsure as to what exactly was the issue and as IT came closer. I felt fear, panic, and disgust all well up in my throat again. No it was definitely that sick sad penis that I had to get away from. I tried to be nicer, but it was like a monster was advancing on me and so I hadta react as I would had THAT been the scenario~FIGHT or FLIGHT. And as I did NOT want that thing touching me, fight was outta the question and I hurriedly backed up even farther away telling him 'STAY BACK!"
I hurriedly put on my long pj shirt, feeling way less vulnerable and instantly better now that I was covered and could flee safely n classy if it came to that. I tried to explain the terror that overcame me when I saw his penis but that quickly turned into him giving me a long hard incredulous stare as I described the scene from my perspective. I mean maybe I was overly dramatic, but geesh it had JUST happened!!! In my eyes, I had just survived the opening scene of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN or Dawn of the Dead or some equally near death and highly anxious and nerve wracking situation. It's how I felt inside. Whatever~ I was thinking that perhaps he needs to take a long hard look at that crazy looking PENIS instead of me because THATS where the issue is but I decided I had gotten my point across. I could not imagine any other person seeing that just carrying on like normal. AND it wasn't like his was deformed or anything like that. It was just like the pictures you see of THOSE THINGS, so it was just that extra damn skin that killed my whole vibe. I know some people will say maybe HIS was just weirder than a 'normal' uncircumcised one, but that was not the case. IT was the FACT that it was just that~UNCIRCUMCISED!
I called a taxi; the first time I ever did in Atlanta, cuz I could NOT be in the same HOUSE as that uncircumcised thing! What if he tried to coax it on me at 3 am? I was certain had I stayed he would have mistook that as a gesture of please try again. Me calling a cab however (not even allowing him to drive me home as he pleaded and begged to do) was a clear cut gesture; an ACTION VERB of NEVER AGAIN U FREAK OF NATURE.
I'm sorry people- I know that's harsh n cruel but I couldn't FORCE myself to be compliant with that bull!!
Again, I must stress that this is an AFFLICTION people- like I have a problem so it’s not my fault. Some people are afraid of spiders, some people are afraid of BABIES even and we get them help??!! So my affliction is fear of an uncircumcised penis.... That is normal, I guess and I KNOW there are others. I mean I don't want anyone to feel singled out or picked on. I am expressing MY opinion; my likes and dislikes; my tolerances if you will. Some guys don't like big sloppy breasts; others do. I see it that simply, BUT I will admit, my reaction, and my all-consuming FEAR that one day I might be assaulted by one, be surprised by one, ANYTHING~is not really that normal...
Fugebuckets~I never claimed to be normal anyway. And I can live with the title
So there you have it. My first penis peeve is the uncircumcised penis. It is out there people and it is SCARY. I don't wanna try to get along with it, I don't care if I sound prejudiced, I just cannot do it~No THANK YOU. The second one is not as bad and it's really just something I have noticed and can do without, but I will save that for a future blog so as not to demoralize TWO pools of penis holders in one reading, ya feel me?
~Cracey
